Day 11, Argentina

This has been a crazy week for sure! I have lost 11 pounds so far, which is right on track, but I am going to increase my green tea and started taking vitamins to hopefully keep it up. The biggest thing on my mind though is the fact that I’ve been accepted to WOL Argentina in the fall!!! (For those of you who may not know, WOL (Word of Life) Argentina is a Bible Institute in-you guessed it, Argentina.) I’ll be going in September as part of their Bilingual Program, where I’ll take intense Spanish classes (the equivalent of 300 course hours!) and also Bible Classes. Along with the excitement of getting the acceptance email Tuesday morning, came the stress of the dreaded conversation with my dad! Breaking the news to him was so nerve-wrecking, and it went about as expected- he’s furious! So now I’ve been trying to stay out of the house and out of his way as much as possible to try and ease the tension. It also means that even though it’s finally out, I can’t really talk about plans or anything openly at home because it will just irritate him more. So yeah, fun stuff!

On a lighter note, I am making a list of things I can’t wait to eat when I get done with hCG! This is brought on by my mom who, after months of me telling her that we should try Marco’s pizza, decided to get it for everyone last night, and go on about it to me and insist that I try it when I can! Thanks Ma! lol

1.       El J’s (the best Mexican food EVA!)

2.       Marco’s

3.       Chinese! (From anywhere-not so picky with the Asian food)

4.       Olive Garden

5.       Emilio’s

6.       ______________ Suggestions?

* And no, I do not intend to eat these things all at once, but over the span of however long my break is! I don’t want to end up back at square one!!!

PS: I’m definitely looking forward to experiencing some Argentine cuisine!! (In moderation of course ;)

Day 7, Forgiveness

After a long weekend of terribly tempting situations, I woke up to find that by not giving in and sticking strictly to my diet guidelines I've lost a whopping 8 pounds!!! Seeing results like that are better than any General Tso's Chicken or Apple Pie I could've indulged in and make every hunger and craving worth it! 

I want to make this about more than weight loss though. While that is a big part of my life right now, it's not everything by any means. When I was driving home on my lunch break today, I was wondering what I could write about today, and God brought to mind a thought he had given me a few months ago (again while driving) that I never shared. It was about forgiveness.

At the time, I was really struggling with letting go of a certain situation in which I felt betrayed by someone I trusted. I said that I wasn't mad anymore, but anytime the person was around I was instantly reminded of the hurt and had to physically walk away to keep from showing my frustration. I was in my car and heard the song "Manifesto" by The City Harmonic on the radio for the first time. If you've not heard it, you should you tube it (after you read this ;), it's awesome. In one part he sings the Lord's Prayer. If you've grown up in church (or even if you haven't) you're probably familiar with it enough to quote it, but as I was singing along a lump in my throat stopped me at the line "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us." That line hit me right in the face- how much more have I betrayed God than anyone on earth has ever betrayed me? How many more times have I hurt Him than I have ever been hurt by anyone? And how much farther did He go to forgive me than I would ever have to go to simply let go of another's offense? And how much purer and complete is the forgiveness He has shown me (countless times over) than the forgiveness I show to others?
I am so glad that when I offend God, He is faithful and just to forgive me! He doesn't hold on to a cosmic grudge and gossip about how wrong I was to anyone who will listen! He doesn't say I'm forgiven only to bring it back up next time I drop the ball! Praise Him that He doesn't change who He is or how He loves! That being said, when we pray to be forgiven only to the degree to which we show forgiveness to others, it isn't going to change the way that God forgives us, but rather it should change the way that we forgive others (drastically!)! Obviously we are human, and unable to show the complete and perfect forgiveness offered to us by God, but if we forgive in the way we want to be forgiven (especially in the light of the way we ARE forgiven and the price that bought that forgiveness) I think we will be quicker to let go of our grudges and eager to forgive more completely.

Day 4

I’m full of random thoughts today, so I’m just going to list them rather than trying to find a cohesive way to write them nicely.

a)      There really is something to not going to be angry! I was so frustrated last night and woke up with a headache this morning! :P

b)      Grocery Shopping is always a good thing to do when starting a diet. It’s kinda hard to follow strict guidelines when you don’t have the food in your pantry!

c)       Hunger clouds your thinking.

d)      Lunch conversation with Mom, Amber and Megan: Me-“I feel like a coke-head living in a crack house” Amber- “coke-head?” Me: “Well I didn’t want to say a crack-head in a crack-house, because that would just be too much crack!” And they all just laughed at me… this is seriously how mine and Amber’s conversations go like 97% of the time!

e)      Trusting God to provide was easier when I didn’t know HOW MUCH I needed Him to provide… as if now that I know the figure it somehow lessons His God-ness, and ability to handle any situation! I know He has it all under control, I just have to remind myself of that constantly to keep my stress-aholic self from freaking out!

f)       I LOVE LOVE LOVE Tenth Avenue North!! I don’t know how they do it, but they have the most amazing songs that are scarily dead-on sometimes. If you haven’t heard them, you should! They’re pretty awesome :D  Here is my latest favorite song by them:

         Times

I know I need you
I need to love you
I love to see you, but it’s been so long
I long to feel you
I feel this need for you'
and I need to hear you
is that so wrong?
oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh
now you pulled me near you
when we're close I fear you
still Im afraid to tell you
all that I've done
are you done forgiving?
or can you look pass my pretending?
Lord I'm so tired of defending
what I've become
what have I become?
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh. (repeat 4)
I hear you say "my love is over,
its underneath, its inside, it’s in between
the times you doubt me, when you can't feel
the times that you've questioned 'is this for real?'
the times you've broken, the times that you mend
the times you hate me and the times that you bend
well my love is over, its underneath
its inside, it’s in between,
these times you're healing
and when your heart breaks
the times that you feel like you've fallen from grace
the times you're hurting
the times that you heal
the times you go hungry and *are tempted* to steal
in times of confusion and chaos and pain
Im there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame
Im there through your heartache
Im there in the storm
my love I will keep you by my power alone
I dont care where you've fallen, where you have been
I'll never forsake you
my love never ends, it never ends mmm, mmm
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

g)      Lastly, I found out what a Melba Toast is. Apparently by “toast” they mean “cracker”. They’re great. And by “great” I mean “tiny”! lol Enjoy!

Day 3

So before you get all confused and look for Days 1 and 2, let me explain...On the 19th I started the hCG diet. The first 2 days you can eat whatever you want, whenever you want, so obviously not worth writing about. So today is Day 3, but Day 1 of the real dieting...


So far so good, I've been pretty hungry a couple of times, but it’s the good kind that makes you feel like you're being healthy, so it's ok. I have to take 10 hCG drops 3 times a day, and stick strictly to the 500 cal/day diet. I definitely should have done my research to find out what exactly was on the diet, because at about midnight last night I realized that I don't have any of the food in my house except for the meat and an apple. So I had to improvise a little bit, with green beans and regular toast instead of the veggies on the list and "Melba Toast" (whatever that is!) It's gonna be tough with so few things to choose from, but I know if I can make it through, the results will be worth it in the end. :)

Intro

So this is my first ever blog post! YAY! I thought it only appropriate to start out by talking about the purpose of this blog:


I started this for two main reasons, the first of which is to chronicle my weight loss journey without annoying all of my facebook friends with the constant ups and downs of diet and exercise (or lack thereof) on their news feeds. Secondly, but of equal importance, is my desire to write...that seems simple enough and even pointless to mention, but it's true! On an almost daily basis God gives me some neat thought or epiphany while I'm driving or otherwise incapable of writing, and I always want to record it and share it somehow. A facebook note just feels awkward to me... If I don't tag anyone then it seems pointless, but if I do it feels presumptuous. Hence: this blog.

Hopefully if you're reading this it can give you some encouragement or motivation or just plain enjoyment!